A steaming hot cup of hypocrisy.
Grabbing a cup of (post-trauma) coffee this morning after dropping my screaming kiddo off at nursery school, I overhear a woman talking about how emails are not technically a “green concept.”
Intrigued, I creep down the counter so I can get a better listen (making sure not to engage this lunatic in eye contact), pick up a magazine and pretend to read it. Mind you, we’re the only ones in the cafe not preoccupied by work.
She continues to explain her theory — which is really not a theory at all, and has some statistical significance according to (BAH HA HA!) Snopes.com.
It’s about to get really good, so don’t stop reading now.
She proceeds to explain, in a great fury, how “absolutely important it is to edit the extra space out of an email… You know, on the top or bottom of the email where there might be a paragraph of blank space, as well as an old AVG that has been scanned..” etc. She continues to rant about how natural resources are wasted when we send all this blank space over the Internet and how she’s even scolded her kids and the people she knew over their “waste.” It’s just “unconscionable!!!!”
This woman was livid.
Pausing, as if on cue, she takes a deep breath and says (reluctantly and with sorrow) that people have stopped responding to her, but that was okay, because they are just “irresponsible, reckless” types.
This is where the coffee I’m sipping enters my nasal cavity because I’m snorting and choking back hysterics without making a peep.
I now have a sore throat, but it’s so worth it.
With that, she turns around, throws her 3/4 full large latte in the trash (its contents spilling every which way) whips around like Robin Hood and exits the cafe.
I turn to watch her, paying close attention to which vehicle she is driving. Sure enough, she disarms her thundering alarm and gets in the largest car in the lot– a white GMC Envoy.
Only in America, kids.
BEGIN WASTED SPACE________
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that’s brilliant. I’m such an irresponsible emailer. think of all those, uh. wait. what am I wasting?
I love this, it’s so funny – really brightened my evening up.
Always here to entertain– of course, I can’t take credit for the content…
Bwahahahahahaha! That. Is. Fabulous!
Look at all of those wasted comment granules I left there. Shame on me!
how’s
this
for
wasted
space?
I
love
this
story.
People
are
idiots.
Did you get the license? my Mom worked for Motor Vehicle, such passion needs better direction…just saying
couldn’t agree more… honestly, I was frightened to death of her catching me watch her exit the building, let alone get a close enough look at the plates!
oh, the hilarities!
This is really good. and fun
Being good and fun is important. Thanks for the follow!
Very funny stuff!:)
ha ha. Love it. Sounds like something my mother in law might buy into. Old people and internet is funny. Thanks for the follow!
At first it’s funny, then you think, these people vote!
I just read this again and it still made me laugh.
Natalie.
Thanks for following my blog! Nice post. I often find that people who talk righteously usually only talk the talk and don’t walk the walk (forgive the awful cliche!). I think people should just do and not preach, especially if they’re hypocrites.
Here, here! My personal mantra is modeled after the Jane’s Addiction lyric; “I want to be more like the ocean… No talking and all action.”
Just got to your blog and I think it’s divine! I love this story.If a person would just step back a moment before speaking, eh? Like the one about the lady going off on a rampant for the deer crossing signs not being placed properly! Thanks for making me chuckle and then shake my head, and then wonder what was the reason for her not realizing her own wastefulness.
Yeah, of all the problems in the world and all the issues that mess up communication–those wasted spaces in email are cause for Congressional action! Is it me or are people a bit angry and looking for fight these days?
Funny post!
By the way, I just subscribed…
Thanks for the follow! You nailed it! People, in general, are looking for a fight. Thank heavens everyone in that cafe ignored her… I’d hate to be around when someone actually engages her…
OH.
MY.
GOD.
I would love someone to slap her with a self-awareness stick.
REPEATEDLY.
Good story!
People often overlook the seemingly obvious when they attempt to be ‘green’.